


Lost and Found

by Etaleah



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alpha Centauri - Freeform, Angel Healing, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angsty Crowley (Good Omens), Anxious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Anxious Crowley (Good Omens), Caring Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Needs a Hug (Good Omens), Crying, Don't copy to another site, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Holding Hands, Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt Crowley, Loneliness, Love, Missing Persons, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), One Shot, Outer Space, POV Aziraphale (Good Omens), Pining, Post-Canon, Separation Anxiety, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Touching, Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens), blog event, could be gay or platonic, injured crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 01:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21007706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etaleah/pseuds/Etaleah
Summary: After seeing human nature up close and personal for the first time, Aziraphale needs to get away for a while and reflect on his feelings toward humanity. Little does he know what's happening in his absence.





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> Credit for this goes to askaziraphaleandcrowley over at https://askaziraphaleandcrowley.tumblr.com/. They ran a deeds event where followers could send in good and evil deeds so that Aziraphale and Crowley could find out whether humans were more good or more evil. Good ended up winning, and then there was a story arc where Aziraphale got upset at all of the evil deeds and left in a melancholy daze to go for a walk. 
> 
> This fic is based on that story arc. The quotes from the followers were paraphrased and Crowley's responses to them at the end were taken directly from the blog. You can see them at the link above, particularly in the posts tagged "solo Crowley." His and Aziraphale's little squabble at the end were also taken from the blog, which you can see here: https://askaziraphaleandcrowley.tumblr.com/post/187775399686/alpha-centauri https://askaziraphaleandcrowley.tumblr.com/post/187777911976/in-the-star-system-alpha-centauri 
> 
> I paraphrased the responses sent to the blog since I didn't want to quote any followers without their permission, but all the same if any of said followers feel the paraphrasing is too close to the original and are uncomfortable with it, please let me know and I will edit or delete them!
> 
> Finally, the moderator of the blog was kind enough to grant me permission to write this fic. Hope you enjoy! :)

Aziraphale had always thought that any bad feelings could be chased away with a good book and a cup of cocoa—until today.

When he and Crowley had started their deeds event, he had fully expected a few bad apples. That was the way of things, after all. Much as he liked to flatter Crowley, he'd never truly expected the score to even be close, let alone for evil to occasionally take the lead in the race. The event confirmed what he'd known but had never experienced up close:

Humans took pride in being evil.

Aziraphale sighed long and heavy as he trudged through London. He thought of his books, music, clothes, wine bottles, and food. _I would be devastated if they were taken from me. Stealing anything is a horrible, selfish thing to do, and the people who follow our blog like to brag about it. _And here he had thought they were such nice people, sending in friendly questions and compliments. It was all a façade, just like the angels had been. You couldn't trust anyone to be truly good, it seemed. If this was how humans behaved, their race was doomed. He certainly couldn't save them all.

This conundrum was beyond the abilities of cocoa and books. Aziraphale might have reached for the bottle except that he knew it would cloud his thoughts even more. The only thing to do then, was put some distance between him and the humans. A lot of distance.

Since there was no place on Earth where one could be completely safe from humans, that left the vast wonders of space. Preferably someplace with a view. Someplace quiet and beautiful.

"_Alpha Centauri! Lots of spare planets up there, nobody'd even notice us."_

Yes. That would do nicely. He could see whether they really might make a life there. It might come to that if humans did indeed destroy their own species.

Aziraphale closed his eyes, pictured the beautiful nebula that brought light to Crowley's golden eyes, and snapped his fingers. The air grew quiet and cold. He opened his eyes.

Never had he seen so many sparkling, silent stars. He smiled. _Yes. This will do nicely indeed. _He quickly used a little angelic magic to ensure he didn't float away, and stared off in thought.

_"_ _We could run away together."_

The offer had been so tempting, and to think of it still quickened Aziraphale's heart. Just him and Crowley, with no one around for trillions of miles. No angels or demons to bother them, and no humans. No more worries about good or evil; they could just be on their own side and do whatever felt right to them. The ultimate freedom.

"But not really," he said to himself. "She'd still be watching us. There's no place we could go that would be so far away She couldn't see us."

He looked around. The beauty was mesmerizing, he felt he could watch it for days. He took in every detail, committing it all to memory. Every star, every color. Yet when was finished, it didn't seem as though much time had passed.

"Perhaps it wouldn't have been so nice after all. Not much in the way of entertainment up here."

_"_ _No more fascinating little restaurants where they know you. No more Albert Hall, no more Glyndebourne. No more old bookshops."_

They weren't here either. Aziraphale groaned. Humans! Couldn't live with them, couldn't live without them.

"If only they didn't make such wonderful things." Talking to himself was surprisingly therapeutic, he was already feeling a little better. "How is it that such vengeful, nasty creatures can be so creative and talented? How can they have vast and wondrous imaginations alongside a perverse desire to do everything they shouldn't? At first I think all is well, and then suddenly he does something demonic and then—"

_Oh._ Aziraphale put his hand to his mouth. He had meant to say "they," not "he." Hadn't he?

"Why am I thinking of Crowley when it's the humans I'm upset with?" Thinking of Crowley brought back the exchange they'd had before he left, when the demon had declared goodness to be the winner. Aziraphale supposed it _was _a tiny bit unreasonable for this whole thing to bother him so when goodness had won. Come to think of it, why was that? It wasn't as if he hadn't seen humans do horrible things before, and much worse than stealing at that.

He looked to the stars and pondered this. Something had been different this time, but what? There was the blog, which he had never used before Crowley set it up for them. Before that, he had never…oh. That was it.

"I had never had so much contact with humans before," he said to himself. Always when he spoke to them, it was either polite small talk, making a purchase, or simply encouraging them to do something for his work or Crowley's. The blog was different. The blog was _personal_.

Aziraphale looked up. "You showed me human nature up close, didn't you?" he asked. "And as you can see, I'm afraid I didn't handle it terribly well."

No answer, as usual. He had never been anywhere so quiet. Though it was nice for thinking, it seemed almost eerie. Even when he had lived in fairly rural settings, there had always been birds chirping or someone talking or a wolf howling somewhere. Here, there was nothing. Crowley would hate it. Aziraphale smiled. _He'd probably blast his music as loudly as he could to cope with it._

For all his shortcomings and demonic identity, Crowley was the best company Aziraphale had ever had. He had defied expectations again and again to show how good he could be. And even his bad deeds weren't _really _bad, more mischievous. Nothing unforgivable, in Aziraphale's opinion.

He thought back to his slip of the tongue a moment ago. Crowley reminded him so much of humanity, and he hadn't even realized it. Good and evil, friend and foe, all wrapped into one package. The beauty of imagination coupled with enormous potential for destruction.

Aziraphale felt lighter. "I suppose I'll just have to take the bad with the good, won't I?" He looked around the star system. "It wouldn't be fair for me to accept Crowley as he is and not accept humans as they are too. They _are _part of the Ineffable Plan. Besides, as beautiful as it is here, it doesn't take long for a chap to get bored." He shivered. "And cold, too. Drat! I forgot my coat. I was in such a state when I left that I just walked off and left it." Well, if nothing else, he would have to go back soon for that.

"'Ziraphale…"

"What?" He turned his head. "Is someone there?" He heard the voice again, but it was so faint he couldn't make out what it was saying. It sounded familiar.

Aziraphale looked up. "Yes, Lord? Something you wish to say to me?"

No answer again.

"Hmm. Strange. I could have sworn I heard someone just now. But of course, there's nobody." He shivered again. "Oh well. Must have been my imagination." Perhaps the change in atmosphere and lack of gravity were getting to him. He really should be going.

He pictured his beloved Soho streets, and found a warmth bloomed in his chest when he thought of it. Aziraphale knew now he could never leave Earth forever. He and Crowley had worked so hard to save it, after all.

The cold disappeared, and Aziraphale opened his eyes. Sound exploded as cars whizzed by, pedestrians chattered, horns honked, and sirens sounded. "Home sweet home," he murmured. He had lost his way for a time, but now he'd found it again. He started to head toward his bookshop when something caught his eye.

Several copies of the same Missing Persons poster had been tacked front and center on the local news bulletin.

And around it.

And across the street from it.

And on the side of a bus that drove by.

Aziraphale glanced at it. He did a double take. He stepped closer. His mouth fell open.

_Missing: A.Z. Fell. Age: Approx. 50 Years. Hair: Blonde. Eyes: Green. Last seen at A.Z. Fell's Rare & Antiquarian Books. Missing since April 1, 2019. Please call Anthony Crowley at 666-666-6666 with any information. Reward._

"What in the world?" Crowley had declared him missing? And was offering a reward for finding him? "That idiot, I've only been gone for about an hour!" He stopped. "Or have I?"

Suddenly feeling very, very nervous, Aziraphale hurried to a nearby newsstand. He snatched up the first paper he could reach and pressed it to his eyes to read the date.

"April 8th, 2019?" he gasped. "That's—that's impossible! There's no way I could have been gone that long." It had to be a misprint. He set the paper down and grabbed another. April 8th. The next one said the same thing, and so did every one after it.

"Oh, dear." He rushed to the bookshop. _Poor Crowley, he must be worried sick._ As soon as Aziraphale got inside, he'd call him and apologize.

He made it to the bookshop in record time, panting with the effort. He headed to the back room, started to reach for the phone, and stopped.

"Oh Lord."

Curled up on his bed, clutching his coat to his chest, and whimpering in his sleep, was Crowley.

He looked awful.

Aziraphale approached him slowly, taking in his wretched state. His normally spiked and styled hair was an oily, unwashed mess that lay flat over his closed eyes, which were heavy with dark circles. Crowley's nose was pressed into the coat, as if he'd been breathing it in. He was hugging it to his body like a lifeline. Beside him were several empty wine bottles.

Crowley shivered in his sleep. Aziraphale moved to pull the blanket over him and gasped.

"What on earth happened?"

Crowley's feet were scorched. The skin was blood red, twisted, and peeling on both of them. Aziraphale could feel the heat radiating from them even at a distance.

"How did—" His gaze fell on a much-wrinkled sheet of paper by Crowley's legs with his hasty handwriting on it. _Westminster Abbey, St. James the Less, Notre Dame, _and _Vatican _were all crossed out, with more churches and cathedrals listed underneath.

"Oh Crowley," he whispered as the words blurred. "I'm so sorry."

_Ping! _Crowley's phone lit up with a notification. Aziraphale hurried to the nightstand and picked it up. The screen displayed the latest messages for the blog:

_"_ _What if Hell has hurt him?"_

_"_ _What if Heaven has hurt him?"_

_"H_ _e could already be dead!"_

_"_ _Finding out how cruel humans can be is even shocking to humans themselves. But that's your fault too since you caused the Fall of Man and everything."_

_"_ _What if Aziraphale isn't coming back?"_

_"_ _Most of the bad deeds were probably offered to make you happy, you can't ask us to send them and then act like it's our fault when Aziraphale gets upset. If he needs a break from bad stuff, of course he's going to want to get away from the demon who always insists on being around him." _

With shaking fingers and increasingly blurry vision, Aziraphale scrolled down to see some of Crowley's responses.

_"_ _I know it's my fault, okay? It was my stupid competition, you were sending those evil deeds in because of me, and yeah, you're right, I started this whole damn thing back in the garden. I know it's all on me! I just don't know what to do about it. I can't just be good. I'm not like you humans, I don't get a choice in that like you do."_

_"_ _I have no group. I lost the angels forever ago, I lost the demons after Armageddon, and yes, neither of them were great company but still, I had a group. Now I've lost Aziraphale. You know what that means? I have no one. No one. Not even one stupid angel. Not one person has stuck with me now, not one."_

"Crowley—" Aziraphale couldn't say anymore without sobbing. He breathed in deeply and set the phone aside in disgust. The nerve of those humans, making Crowley think he was to blame.

"I could never leave you," he said softly, blinking away his tears.

"Angel." He jumped. Crowley was still sleeping, albeit fitfully. "Please come back."

Aziraphale sniffed. "I'm here, Crowley." He put a hand on his hair. "I'm here. It's all right now." Crowley leaned into his hand, but didn't wake up. "Crowley, I'm _here," _he said, louder.

This time, Crowley stirred and opened his eyes. They were bloodshot. "Aziraphale!"

"Yes, I'm here, everything's all right," he said, as gently as he could. "Nobody in Heaven or Hell got to me. I was fine, I promise. And I swear I will never let this happen again."

Crowley clutched his hand. He shut his eyes, letting out a shuddering breath. "Where?"

"Well, I hadn't exactly planned it this way, but I ended up at Alpha Centauri—"

"Are you kidding me, angel, all this time you've been at Alpha fucking Centauri?"

"Yes. I didn't realize so much time had passed. I'm sorry—"

"You bloody well had better be sorry!"

"The length of days is quite different up there you see—"

"Yes I know that, smart-arse! What the heaven were you doing there anyway?"

"Oh, well, it was because of you actually."

"Me?...You mean you did want to get away from me?"

"What? Oh no no no, my dear boy; quite the contrary really! You had talked about us maybe going there when things were looking rather pear-shaped on Earth, so I thought I had ought to investigate what you were talking about. I suppose I got myself into a bit of a rut worrying about the future of the human race, and thought I'd humor the idea of leaving them behind like you'd said. Frightfully silly I know, and it really just reminded me of what I love about them all. So don't worry, I'm feeling tickety-boo again now."

Crowley was still glaring daggers. "Well, that makes _one of us_," he spat with more bitterness than Aziraphale had heard from him before. He was still holding onto Aziraphale's hand though.

"Yes, I see. Shall I get you some ice for your feet?"

"Yes. Quite soon. Like now."

"All right." Aziraphale began to move away only to find that Crowley hadn't let go of his hand. "Um…"

"Oh. Right." Crowley reluctantly let go. His fingers lay stiff and awkward on the bed. His eyes didn't leave Aziraphale. When the angel reached the door, Crowley bolted up in bed and started to slide off it.

"What are you doing? I told you, I'll get it."

"I know. Just, um—yeah, go on." He hopped back on the bed and sat with an unnaturally straight back.

Aziraphale retreated to his side. "Perhaps I'll just miracle it over, along with some soothing gel and bandages." He did so, and a minute later, Crowley hissed as the cold materials touched the soles of his feet. Aziraphale applied them carefully, adding a little magic touch.

"Does that feel better?" he asked anxiously.

"Some." Crowley nodded. "But can't you make it work a little faster?"

"No, I can't heal it completely since it's a holy injury, but I can at least relieve the worst of it. The rest should fade away soon." He bound Crowley's feet tightly with bandages and straightened up.

"Shall we let our followers know I've returned?" he asked. "I'd like very much for them to know it was my fault, not yours."

"Yeah, sure thing." Crowley thought for a second. "Only, can we maybe not, uh, mention how you found me, what with the missing posters and such?" He looked away. "Don't wanna seem like I was, you know, _that _desperate. And don't tell them you read the messages either."

Aziraphale could never understand why Crowley insisted on hiding the best part of himself, but he supposed such a heart needed to be guarded with care. Besides, he had a feeling Crowley would not be forgetting this any time soon, and he wanted to return to his good graces as soon as possible.

"Of course, dear. If you like, we'll tell them you just happened to think of Alpha Centauri and went there to look for me. How's that sound?"

Crowley smiled. "Sounds just right." He lay back on the bed and relaxed for what was possibly the first time in a week. Aziraphale healed and massaged his feet until he was sound asleep, then lay down beside him and took his hand in his.

They slept through the next day with their heads, hands, and hearts pressed together.

**Author's Note:**

> Please see the notes above for credits!


End file.
